High as a Kite (Weird Dreams)
by Gfyuwatr7
Summary: Does Professor Trelawney really see the future, or is she just high as a kite? Either way, whenever anyone enters the strange world of Divination, something weird is always bound to happen. Ride along with Harry and the gang as they experience first-hand what it's like to be in "the Beyond". One-shot series, in the same AU continuity as my other stories. Reading those not required.
1. Chapter 1: Zahmbies

_High as a Kite_

_A One-Shot Series by Gfyuwatr7_

Disclaimer: All works referenced in this story are the property of their respective owners. I do not own anything.

* * *

_Chapter 1: Zahmbies_

It was sweltering in the Divination classroom. Nothing new there. Still, when Harry first learned he was going to be taking this class, he hadn't been sure what to expect. Their teacher, Professor Trelawney, was a strange woman. A skinny, bespectacled woman, she seemed very enthused by the idea of seeing the future. Harry wasn't really sure if he believed in her abilities or not, but the class itself seemed easy enough. Just pretend you see something in your tealeaves or crystal ball and you'd be fine.

As usual, he and Ron took their seats near the back of the room. They did so to avoid the gaze of their teacher. If anyone so much as sneezed in her presence, she would swoop down and gaze at them expectantly, as though they had seen some horrific vision of the future. Harry had already had enough of Trelawney predicting his death. She also kept talking about something called the Grin. He wasn't sure what she meant by it, but he didn't feel at all in danger of being killed anytime soon.

The class was working with crystal balls again today. As everyone got out their Divination textbooks from their bags, Ron slammed his down on the table, rolling his eyes exasperatedly.

"Hermione's right," Ron said, "this class is pure rubbish. I'm gonna grab some sleep, you?"

"Yeah, I could use a minute or two," Harry said. "Couldn't sleep last night, Neville kept snoring…" On cue, he yawned into his arm, hoping this had gone unnoticed by their professor.

Class began, and immediately, Harry began to doze off. It really wasn't his fault. Neville had kept him up all night, and it didn't help that the classroom reeked heavily of incense. At least, Harry thought it was incense…

* * *

"Harry, board up that hole, you're going to be overrun!" Dumbledore cried from his perch on the balcony. As he said this, he took aim at another zombie, and with a bang, it fell to the floor.

They were in the entrance hall of what looked like an abandoned theater. It wouldn't be so bad to camp here for the night if it weren't for the blood-stained walls and the Nazi memorabilia decorating every inch of the place. That and the swarms of the undead.

"Wait, what?!" Harry cried, looking around wildly. How did he get here? Why was he here? What is the meaning of life?

_42, _a voice whispered in his ear. He shook his head, and the voice was gone. However, there was the small problem of zombies pouring in from a hole in the wall to his right. There were three of them so far, but Harry could see shadows on the far side of the wall, past the hole. Harry raised his wand, but instead of casting a spell, a shotgun shell hit the nearest zombie. The result of this shot was not pretty, to say the least. Harry stood there, dumbfounded. What on earth was going on? Where did his wand go? And why did he have a shotgun instead?

He heard Ron say in a corner of the theater, "That's the-hic-last of them." He wasn't sure, but it sounded as though he were drunk. But that wasn't possible, they were only thirteen years old. And he had a strange accent, too. Speaking of accents…

"Alright everyone, on me!" Dumbledore called in a very pronounced American accent. "Let's figure out what were going to do." They all gathered around him on the balcony overlooking the entrance hall. Harry took a good look at them all. Dumbledore was bald and clean-shaven, Ron looked older and was wearing a uniform that looked too big for him, and Hermione seemed to be of Asian descent. Her cheekbones were higher, her hair was darker. And she was carrying herself with much more confidence than she normally did. And was that a sword she wiping with a cloth?

"Okay guys, that wasn't bad. But if we're going to survive and get out of this place, we need to step up our game." Dumbledore said.

"Saru mo ki kara ochiru," Hermione said under her breath, putting her sword away in its sheath. She sat down heavily as everyone stared incomprehensibly at her.

"What did you say?" Ron asked stupidly.

"Baka wa shinanakya naoranai," she replied sadly.

As the others began arguing, Harry turned away, taking another look at their surroundings. And he froze.

A man in a large chicken suit was staring at him from the doorway to another part of the theater. He leaned forward with a stern look on his face.

"Harry!"

* * *

"What?" Harry spluttered, looking around wildly. "What's happening?"

"My dear, you were in the beyond, weren't you?" Professor Trelawney cried. She was standing next to his and Ron's table. Her eyes were shining brightly with excitement. "I think you were!"

Harry stared up at her, at a loss for words. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"I-"

* * *

Author's Note: My first in a series of one-shots. Basically, when someone falls asleep in the Divination classroom, they're more than likely to have weird dreams than at any other time. These stories will take place at any point during and after Prisoner of Azkaban. They also take place in my AU Harry Potter stories.

"Saru mo ki kara ochiru" : Even monkeys fall from trees. (Nobody's perfect)

"Baka wa shinanakya naoranai" : Unless an idiot dies, he won't be cured. (You can't fix stupid)

Reviews, comments, and constructive criticism are welcome. Hope you all enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2: Who Are You?

_High As A Kite_

_A One-Shot Series by Gfyuwatr7_

Disclaimer: All works referenced in this story are the property of their respective owners. I do not own anything.

* * *

_Chapter 2:_

_Who Are You?_

Cho couldn't wait until she no longer had to take Divination classes. They were utterly ridiculous. For some reason, Professor Trelawney had some sort of interest in her future, claiming that Cho would be destined for great things, but that she would also court death. Whatever that was supposed to mean. She and her friends made their way reluctantly to the Divination classroom. The only one who seemed truly interested in the class was her friend, Marietta Edgecombe. In all fairness, she should have known.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see what lies in my future," Marietta whispered excitedly as they took their seats. Cho led them to a table that wasn't too far from the front of the class, but not too close, either. Professor Trelawney walked in, her beaded necklaces announcing her arrival. The lanterns were dimmed, and she finally spoke.

"Good evening, my children," she said in a low, mysterious voice. "I see that you all have made it safely through your journeys to my classroom, as I knew you would." Cho had to roll her eyes at this. It almost seemed as though Trelawney had expected them to be attacked on their way here. She knew there were people who could genuinely see the future, but she doubted her Professor was one of them. Turning to the crystal ball in front of her, she tuned out what Trelawney was saying. Instead, she began to wonder about the mysterious event that was about to be announced at dinner later. Her mind wandering, her eyelids began to droop, and the voices of the students working over their crystal balls were slowly fading away…

* * *

Cho was working on her Potions homework in the Ravenclaw common room, despite it being the weekend. She knew she couldn't relax until all of her homework was finished. She always saved Potions for last, for it was one of the subjects that she liked the least. Not that it wasn't interesting, it was merely the fact the Potions Master, Professor Snape, was a complete and utter-what was that she saw in the fireplace? For a split second, it looked as though there had been someone's face in the small flames behind the grate. Cho rubbed her eyes and looked again. There was nothing there.

"You're just imagining things," Cho whispered to herself. There was no one else in the common room. Just then, the flames began to grow, and suddenly someone was in the fireplace. At least, only his head was; it seemed that this person was trying to communicate by Floo Powder.

"Hello? Is anyone there? I'm stuck in here, and I can't get out!" the head in the fireplace said. He was quite young, and (Cho couldn't help but blush) quite good looking as well. He had long, dark hair, and was wearing circle-rimmed glasses. He also had the most piercing green eyes.

"And what's your name, miss?" the man said kindly. He had a youthful, attractive energy to him. Cho shook her thoughts from her mind.

"M-my name is Cho," she stammered, and she immediately cursed herself for being so nervous. She hadn't stammered in front of a boy in years. Now suddenly this strange man appeared and was sweeping her off her feet. And she wasn't sure how he was doing it.

"I see," the man said thoughtfully. "Listen, Cho, I need your help. I'm stuck in the fireplace system of this castle, and it won't be long before my captor comes back to check up on me."

"You're trapped in the Floo network?" Cho asked. "Who put you there?"

"Not sure," the man replied. "He's got long, greasy black hair, and a long crooked nose. Does any of that ring a bell?"

"Professor Snape," Cho growled. "I can't believe him. He's a teacher, he should know this is illegal! He can't just trap people in the fireplace!"

"Is this a school, then?" the man asked excitedly. "Wow, I haven't been in a school since that time in…or was it another time? Bah, can't remember," he shook his head. "Listen, this Professor has stolen my ship, it's in his office. I need you to go there, find my ship, and throw it into the fireplace using-Floo powder, did you call it? My ship will make its way back to me."

"Wait, what?" Cho squeaked in fear. "I can't break into a teacher's office, that's against the rules! And it's Snape! He hates me already, what if he catches me?"

"Listen to me, Cho," he said gently. "I know you're scared. I'd be scared too, if I were you. But I can see it in your eyes. You're smart, and brave, and I know you can do this. I'm trusting you with my life you help me?"

"I…okay," she said softly. She rose from her seat on the couch in front of the fireplace. "Go to Snape's office, find your ship, and throw it into the fire. That's all, right?"

"That's it," the man said proudly. "I knew you could do it. Now my ship, in its current unpowered mode, looks like a small, blue box with circular rings etched onto it. You'll know it when you see it."

"Okay, wish me luck," Cho said nervously. She turned and took a few steps toward the door, but then turned back. "Who are you, by the way? What's your name?"

The man in the fireplace sniffed slightly, and calmly replied, "I'm the Doctor."

* * *

Cho couldn't believe she was doing this. This was probably some sort of prank, devised by the Slytherins to get her in trouble with Snape. Really, looking back, she could've sworn she had seen that man before. He was probably a Slytherin she had seen in the castle somewhere. And yet, she couldn't help but believe him. He had seen so sincere, and so mysterious as well. Cho had never met anyone like him.

_ This had better be real, _she thought to herself. Eventually, she reached the Potions classroom in the dungeon. Peeking through the doorway, she saw that no one was in the room. Slowly walking in, she scanned Professor Snape's desk, hoping to find the blue box there. It wasn't, so she looked through the cabinets, being as quiet as possible. She wasn't sure where everyone was, but she thanked God it was the weekend.

A low humming noise caught her attention as she walked past a cabinet. She opened it, and there was the blue box. It was quite small, like a Rubik's Cube. It was blue all around, and had circles engraved all over it. This had to be it. Taking it from the cabinet, she walked over to the fireplace. Taking a pinch of Floo Powder from the jar nest the grate, she threw it in, and a green fire sprang up from the ashes. Hesitantly, she threw the box in. It disappeared, but not before making a strange whooshing sound.

She waited for a minute, waiting to see what would happen. She hoped that maybe the strange man with the strange box would appear again, to thank her for her help. Instead, she heard footsteps approaching the classroom. Panicking, she took a desk and began to drag it across the floor towards the door. She knew it wouldn't keep Snape out for long, but perhaps it would buy her enough time to find a way out. As she continued to debate what to have her parents write on her tombstone, she heard the strange whooshing sound again, coming from behind her. She turned around and saw the Doctor standing there, with the blue box, now a blue telephone box, behind him. Its door was open slightly, and she could see a strange light filtering through. He smiled at her.

"Thank you, Cho," he said. "You've gotten me out of a bad situation. Now let me help you." He held out his hand to her. She hesitated, then heard Professor Snape outside, swearing and trying to open the door manually. She knew it wouldn't be long before he used magic to open it. She considered her options; either get caught by Snape and be given massive amounts of detention (or worse, expelled), or run away with this strange handsome man in dark green dress robes and bowtie. She had only one question.

"Where would we go?"

He smiled widely at her. "Wherever you like."

* * *

"Cho, wake up! Professor Trelawney asked you something!"

"Hm? What?" Cho mumbled, shaking the drowsiness from her head. She found the rest of the classroom staring intently at her, including Professor Trelawney. She looked positively beside herself in excitement.

"My dear, were you in the beyond? I think you were!"

Cho didn't know what to say to that. She paused, thinking. There was really one option she could take. She took a steady breath.

"I should go."

* * *

AN: In case it wasn't clear, Harry Potter represents the Doctor in Cho's imagination, her knight in shining armor coming to rescue her. This chapter takes place in the Goblet of Fire, a bit before the Triwizard Tournament was announced.

Just imagine that as soon as Harry introduces himself, the song 'I Am the Doctor' is playing in the background for the rest of the chapter. :)

Comments, constructive criticism, and reviews are all welcome. Thanks for reading.


End file.
